The Gym Membership


I should update you and indeed myself on what I have been getting up to this week. Having dragged myself through a weekend of back-to-back classes at the Equinox gym I was convinced that this was the gym for me. This was my vehicle to transition into adulthood… finally? But just then, I was informed of so-far-elusive-to-me squash courts on the Big Apple Island and I had to start all over again. The Sports Club/LA. No need for a profound slogan to make fitness sound like more than just profuse sweating. A forward slash was all it took to link the club to the city of image. The subconscious relationship between the apparent beauty of those who inhabit the Californian star spot and this Upper East Side establishment successfully forged.

Anyway as I stepped over the threshold into Posh Gym Number 2, I was transported into a parallel universe where space was in abundance. How they managed to secure 8 floors, a roof terrace (complete with grill-would I expect anything less? I wouldn’t of course), swimming pool and room to swing a cat when drying oneself off after a spacious shower is beyond me: on the Upper East Side no less. Complimentary to your membership one can also enjoy craning your neck, squinting upwards at the double ceiling-climbing wall resting comfortably between two full sized basketball courts and overlooking 5 international squash courts. I won’t go in to the other room particulars. But bear in mind that I totally could.

So not to be beaten by their biggest rivals, The Sports Club/LA wanted me to experience what they had to offer in the same number of days. 3 to be precise. So as I prepared myself on the Friday night for what would be another epic athletic attempt, I hoped that noone would reveal to me another gym, a “Gym of the Gods”, offering free chocolate and tennis courts as an incentive before I sign a contract this time round.

Before I trialed the standard spin class, which was sufficiently exhausting, it was recommended to me by the management and this month’s issue of Marie Claire to indulge in a new yoga class combining yoga with cardio fitness. Verdict. Not for me. The painful stretching on top of endless kneeling on squidgy mats did nothing for my joints and I think until I get more flexible and more accustomed to the yoga way I will have to avoid this faster paced version. This weekend could prove to be too much for my body’s capabilities. Following a rather camp Zumba aerobics class and a villainous thighs workout I was left to hobble down to the changing rooms, prepare myself for the ride home and lie comatose for the rest of the day. Not all that raring to go back to work on Monday morning. Sometimes I really do wonder if I came here to work or just to exploit the city’s offerings. However, as detailed earlier I was entitled to 3 days of free workout and so not one to miss out on an opportunity I packed up my squash paraphernalia and toddled back to 60th and 2nd Avenue-ish to compete in the weekly Advanced Round Robin complimentary to all members. Being the only female I was able to gain an initial advantage by always serving first. Lacking a Y chromosome does afford its distinct advantages. One being the “ladies first” rule (just in case you couldnt think of any off the top of your head). However, being in the US and having to play by their rules meant that all points count thus dissolving my brief advantage. I put up a good fight I must admit. I chased every ball, lost most of the points but did manage to beat a couple of the guys, which secured my invitation to this weekly session. There was also a little to a lot of competitive bite to the proceedings. My willingness to prove my worth combined with a male ego desperate not to lose points to a warring British girl made for a long session and I was left to crawl home only able to climb limply into bed and……… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


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