A ring of traffic cones and some police tape lead to dramatic conclusions


Picture the scene. A mysterious car sits in wait. The owner of the car is constantly changing. Sometimes this man is talking quietly on the phone, sometimes another lone watcher wanders around the car trying to appease his boredom.

I must walk past this 24 hour, 7 days a week stake out on my way to and from work. The only clues as to his purpose are the yellow traffic cones and police tape that surround the tree-d area. They seem to border an uninteresting plot of land with no clear ulterior motive. As I watch boys try to use the traffic cones as ramps for their skateboards, the guard of sorts shoos them away. He wants no one lingering there. He wants to be alone with his marked tree patch. But why? I have asked everyone I know who frequents this route. At 3am in the morning why do these trees or whatever deep purpose he serves need protecting? I suspect it has something to do with CIA. It reeks of Secret Service activity because my island is a constant hive of baffling happenings. Well it probably is. When I am asleep.

I have been performing my detective work non-stop for the last month now. However, I am considering stepping up my efforts in order to once and for all solve this puzzle. Let’s recap. Yellow traffic cones, 2 sets, joined with yellow police tape. One ring circles a plot of trees, the other “protects” a machine-like totem pole resembling a parking meter but altogether too tall for that and labelled with the sign “Alarm”. And so after careful consideration I have come up with the following scenarios:

1) Are we trying to attract our neighbours from outer space? Is this a convoluted way of saving money on the Space Program by using my island as a homing station for extraterrestrial beings? Likely.

2) Is there an underground tunnel only accessed via removal of this “parking meter” that allows for rapid and efficient CIA missions into and out of the city?

Whatever it may be I suspect it is exciting and terribly TOP SECRET. And so I will continue my quest for knowledge. I will (maybe) succeed. But all I can hope for is that I will triumph before the aliens land. I know we have a bit of extra space but seriously Obama there is probably not enough room for a whole race of non-human beings on Main Street!


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