Raw Food is Gluten-Free


The new NY?
On Thursday of this week I had a workshop. A well dressed work-related workshop where schmoosing was a must and clean braces a definite.
Cue me on 5th Avenue trying to deal with what can only be described as an Apple associated weeklong disaster. First my Macbook Baby dies in dramatic form on Wednesday and I spend about 4 hours in the most frequented store in Manhattan (the one with the big apple outside on 5th Av) trying not to cry but also sort of trying to cry to get my own way and fast. Now it is Thursday and in less than 24 hours I have managed to get my computer wiped and rebooted and also, after a Pain Quotidien brownie moment, drop and smash to smithereens my iPhone. Well the screen anyway.
Now, thursday, I have a functioning if a little sterile Macbook Pro and an abstract version of the iPhone 3S where reading texts is certainly a challenge. What does this have to do with the workshop I hear you cry, in a high-pitched squeal as you scan the rest of this post for any train of thought? Well not much, but it does set the scene for why I am again at the Apple store and the one close to Park Avenue, and the posh workshop.
Between work and workshop I have a self-assigned task. Obtain new iphone (preferably without paying anything but minimally avoiding the $400 deposit that these cheeky phone companies demand of an alien such as myself), feed myself and walk slowly, to avoid blisters due to unusually smart shoes, towards the aforementioned workshop 3 blocks south. iPhone acquisition. Fail. Walking slowly. Success. Food. Erm. Not sure success will really cut it. See what you think.
With 30 min to kill on 57th and about 5th, I began wandering in search of a healthy place to grab a snack to avoid fainting in the workshop (it was over two hours long so I didnt fancy my chances). Suddenly, out of the oasis that is urban Midtown, I saw a pop-up organic raw food store. Shelves and shelves of refrigerated raw juices and similar gluten-free alternatives to food. It was a Californian based establishment (ha) trying its luck over here (I overheard this during my browsing). I wandered around thinking “Oh lovely. Overpriced raw food. I must have some and be the healthiest.” Indeed, I passed lots of green coloured juices and some gluten free raw chocolate mousse (not sure how that works well but Novak Djokovic is definitely a good ad for gluten-free) so I plumped for a green coloured $9 mini juice and the chocolate mousse (I sort of wanted the vanilla pudding with coconut water but since coconut water was a core ingredient in most of the items and this particular mini pudding was $9.99 I went for the choc variety).
The chocolate thing was inhaled momentarily upon my exit back onto the sidewalk and was sort of pretty good but not great. Then onto the drink. Well I had assumed, incorrectly, that the green colour should be indicative of a hint or bucket load of apple. No such luck. My green goo was kale, spinach, other greens I can’t and won’t remember and coconut water (I am guessing to reduce viscosity). My goodness it was vile. I actually had to hold my nose and gulp it down because it was NINE DOLLARS worth of evil. Man alive that was some evil prep for my workshop. Plus I had chocolate mousse engrafted onto my braces. Not optimal. I had to do a strategic dive into the loos and sort myself out.
Quick Listerine moment and boom I was all ready to face the world again. And probably energised. It was hard to tell.

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